Early Bird Breakfast Club (Eastwood Libis) Review

What can I say? Where do I start? I was dying for this review to be good. In fact Jared and I went back three times in one month hoping, praying that we would indulge in that fantastic meal, which never came...... OK! So here's the skinny. First and foremost, the menu is a genius idea incredibly ruined by the fairy tale story line printed on the front cover. I could really care less about the who, what, when, where, and why. I am hear to eat breakfast not to hear some over embellished factoids about the history of why you're so special! I mean come on! Are the owners really that conceited? Either way your bleeding heart sob story would be more believable if a foreign chef wasn't running your kitchen, as well as, if your website story matched the front page of your menu.

However, that's enough about that as this is a review about the food being served. Now before any of you think that this review is biased, please know that I have eaten at all three branches of the early bird breakfast club. Once at Century City, once in Bonifacio, and three times at the new Eastwood location.
The fruit plate with honey is wonderful and fresh, but since it's a fruit I'd say it has no bearing on this review.

On Jared and my first visit to the eastwood location, He was suffering from a massive tequila hangover from the night before, so when he saw the full English on the menu the choice was easy. In my opinion there is no greater cure for the alcohol blues than a bit of epic English gastronomy. He decided that he would forgo the English pudding, or sausage until he legitimized the dish. He said that while English breakfast is amazing when good, if executed poorly it can ruin the whole experience.

Upon arrival I was amazingly surprised by the accuracy of food on the plate, and I immediately thought that I was sitting in London on a Sunday morning. I was excited to taste it, and my mouth was truly watering. I was so happy that there was finally a place to eat breakfast in Eastwood at a restaurant not synonymous for Pancakes.

I eagerly popped the yoke with my knife and dug straight in eager with anticipation. I was dying for that mix of flavors that is unmistakable. I piled a bit of everything on my fork and piled it into my mouth. However, what I thought was going to be the meal of the month instantaneously reminded me of yesterday's bland and tasteless oatmeal. I mean nothing was seasoned, not the egg, not the potatoes, not the beans, not the tomato, not the mushrooms. Everything on the plate tasted like the low sodium meal on an airplane. Which, was incredible frustrating considering that Jared's Katcino dish (a play on pork katsu and tocino) was seasoned perfectly.

While we were waiting for the check, the manager stopped by and asked Jared how the food was, which infuriated me for two reasons. First because she was just ignoring me as if she was above me and I didn't exist. Now I can understand that many foreigners come here for scandalous reasons, which pisses me off just as much as I am sure it does all of you. This move infuriated me, and when I say infuriated, I mean that steam was practically pouring out of my ears. I wanted blood and Jared cannot blame me. I immediately called the manager on her offensive behavior and asked her why she just ignored me and asked him about his meal as if my comments didn't have bearing what so ever.

I was appalled by her behavior. Surely every manager should know that proper etiquette demands that you address the female at the table before the man. There are simple manners that I expect any manager to have, but at early bird breakfast club it seems that the manager has no respect for anyone other than foreigners. Which, brings me to my second objection. Out of the packed restaurant, the manager only approached two tables. Our and another one across the restaurant where another foreigner was sitting with his vacation vixen. Something that was blatantly obvious by the extreme age difference, the complete lack of chemistry, and the fact that the girl spent the entire meal starring at her phone, texting.

I was so pissed that I refused to leave a tip, and quite fairly made the manager look like a fool before we left. Something that any self respecting woman would do. Jared left unsatisfied, and I left pissed as hell. Not exactly the excitement we had when we entered. 

Our second visit happened when I wanted to try something I previously saw on the menu, which was the healthy  featuring asparagus, and baby potatoes with a poached egg. The only thing that had any flavor on this plate was the parmigiano shaved on the top. This is where I and Jared started noticing a trend in the restaurant. Almost all of the customers were eating the restaurants interpretation of the local dishes. In fact every plate at the table had either tapa, bangus, or porridge. I don't know if anyone on our previous visits was eating anything else but, I was determined to return yet again to investigate this further.

Our latest and final visit came a week ago. I had the salmon, which looked dry to me but I said it was OK.Jared had the risotto, which tasted of nothing but a pound of cheese and overcooked rice. It made my stomach hurt for the whole day, which means we will never return and Jared couldn't be happier. What solidified this decision was when the waiter tried to take Jared's coffee from Starbucks and put it in one of their mugs, because they don't allow outside drinks. He calmly told him that we always bring our coffee in here because their coffee is horrible (had it at century city, not worth it at all). I explained that they have never had an issue with it on our other visits, and Jared told him not to touch his coffee.

To sum up this long review most people eat the twists on filipino favorites, which although overpriced at least taste good. The stuffed pancake is not a pancake but a tasteless stuffed popover on tasteless mash, with wonderful gravy. The salmon tastes good but looks horrid. The coffee is shite. Overall the presentation of the dishes is 10/10, but when it comes to flavor most dishes lack the punch of the eye candy. It's not the breakfast I was hoping for, and it's far from the answer to my Eastwood morning cravings. Please beware of the risotto, as it's one of the most expensive items on the menu and it will make you sick as all hell.